Jan's Blog


by | Jul 30, 2021

Forgiveness is about setting the prisoner free and discovering the prisoner was you.”


Have you ever said or done anything in your life that you regret?

Do you look back on the situation now and say to yourself “why didn’t I (fill in the blank) instead?”

Are you holding onto guilt or shame from it?

It’s always so much easier to look back on the situation and come up with what would have been a better way of saying it or how I could have reacted differently to the situation. Unfortunately, we do not have that luxury in life to go back and change words or respond different than we did.

If you find yourself unable to forgive someone for something they said or did, you are imprisoning yourself. That person you have not forgiven may have moved on, but maybe not. They may be suffering as deeply as you are while waiting to be forgiven. Forgiveness of others doesn’t mean what they did was acceptable, but it is acknowledging that we are humans and we all make mistakes. The longer we allow ourselves to hold onto anger, hatred and resentment, the greater the chance that it will show up in our life in a negative way.

I know we have all been there and we all know how terribly guilty we can feel for days, years and some for even a lifetime. Many of us have been forgiven by those we have hurt or “done wrong” and some of us have not. Even if those people have forgiven us, have you forgiven yourself?

Self-forgiveness is much more difficult than forgiving others. We will beat ourselves up for an eternity as punishment for making a bad choice or reacting in a bad way. We are not only quick to judge others, but we are even quicker at judging ourselves.

The inability to forgive ourselves can cause issues with relationships, careers, health and so much more. The guilt and/or shame is always sitting in the back of our mind sucking up our much needed energy. Guilt and shame vibrate at the lowest frequency in our body. We are all energy so it makes sense that we need to work at keeping our vibration at a higher level in order to maintain vibrant health and live a happy life.

Can you do yourself a favor and practice the art of forgiving others so that you can set yourself free? Then start that tedious process of forgiving yourself for something you have done or said in the past. From my experience, this process takes much longer. It may be a rocky road to get there, but it is necessary in order to live our best life.